Friday, December 17, 2010

Dec. 17, 2010

There is a package of salami sitting out on the counter because I didn't put it away after making
Katie her sandwich for school this morning. I am oh so tempted to take a little piece of salami and eat it right up.
But I said to myself. 'That is definitely not healthy.'

And then I walked away.

I will venture into the kitchen in one minute and put it away in it's little drawer.

I am just happy to say. That for this moment.

Disaster has been averted.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Dec. 13, 2010

Rule One.

Mostly I share rules from Michael Pollen's book, Food Rules, but today
I will share my own rule I made up while I way lying in bed this morning. Not sleeping.

Rule One.

Never, never, never take seconds.

I guarantee that you did not take too little the first time.
Last weekend I made myself a plate of food for lunch. Leftovers.
I finished my plate and without thinking went right back to take another piece of chicken pie.

And then I stopped.

I was not hungry.
I wasn't stuffed.

I talked myself out of seconds.

A remarkable achievement for a Sunday afternoon.

A rule was born.

Never, never take seconds.


Never eat more than you can lift.
~Miss Piggy

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Dec. 12, 2010

It's been a rough week. It's incredible how much my mood and self worth is tied to my weight.
I know this is so wrong.

I am not defined by how much I weigh. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

But even setting small goals and failing to achieve those small goals sends me down into, I dare say a depression.

Now what do I usually do when I am depressed? I eat. I stuff those feeling down with food and I forget what I am sad about.

I caught myself doing this many many years ago.

My husband was home for lunch, he was cranky and I felt awful when he left.
I will never forget that moment as I saw him drive away and I was standing in the kitchen opening the cupboard as I watched his car zoom off.

I caught myself in the act. Mid chew. Mid stuff. I realized.
I really am trying to numb the pain with food.

So when life gets painful, even pain brought about by dieting, (which is really ironic)
I want to eat but do not eat so the sadness stays.

It is a daily battle to fight to get out of the dark thinking. Negative greet me first thing I wake up.

I am trying to replace those dark thought with truthful, positive thoughts first thing.
I am thanking God for the day. For being alive.

I am mostly trying to live this day with a grateful heart. This one day.

I can do Doesn't matter about yesterday or tomorrow.
I can do this with my attitude, my spirit and my eating.

My friend Di sent me a quote that spoke right to my heart.

"Surely we can do for one day that which seems impossible for a lifetime. "

At this point in my life, I can't make goals and I really shouldn't weigh myself.
If that is weird, that's okay with me.

My mental health is at stake.

Working on today is the best I can do.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Dec. 6, 2010

I don't know why it happened, but over the last three days, I have lost focus.
Saturday I ate when I wasn't hungry. More than once.
I am not eating large amounts of food, but just eating when I am not truly hungry. And it's like I had forgotten completely that I was trying to eat fresh, healthy foods.

For dinner on Saturday night , I ate a Schwans prepared frozen dinner with the family.
Roast beef and mashed potatoes with gravy.
I did not follow any Food Rules and ate it without thinking.

Then on Sunday I made Chex Mix. It's as if I was on auto pilot.
Why would I make a snack?

I don't snack any more.

So I ate it for meals.

A cup with my chai at lunch and a cup with three slices of ham at dinner.

Yes. I said ham.
I bought a little ham to try it out to see if it would be tasty to serve for Christmas Eve.
I tried it and it was delicious. Salty and yummy ham.

What on earth? Chex Mix and ham is not the way to health.
And it is not the way to weight loss.

I apparently know how to eat so I can maintain. It's a gift I have. I can stay the same better than anyone I know.

This is a depressing fact, especially this week when I wanted to have a nice weight loss to greet the Three Month mark of my
new way of eating and living. So instead of losing those three pounds (small goal that it was) I am sure when I get on that scale tomorrow morning, the number will be the same as it was two weeks ago.

You know that 21 day rule. It's bunk.
I am well over 21 days and eating healthy is NOT a habit. In fact, it seems extremely easy to forget I am even doing it.

Perhaps I was just tired of thinking about it.

Who knows.

I can wait for hunger today. I can make good choices today.
What more can a girl do?

I'll save the depression for tomorrow. Once I weigh myself I know I will be battling that all day.

Goody gumdrops.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Dec. 1, 2010

I could be very happy eating a bagel with butter and cream cheese every day. Twice a day.
I have done it. I don't get sick of it.

Even when my brother in law was religiously following Atkins and told me that bagels were the worst food in the whole wide world.....I kept eating them.

So, I really do try to eat something other than bagels, and the twice a day thing is very rare.

What helps me is to have meals prepared ahead of time.

This morning I made a hearty chili with lots of wonderful ingredients. I will eat this for lunch for days and days.
I suppose I could freeze it so I don't get tired of it. (That's a pretty good idea.)

I'm going to freeze half of it and next week I will have it again!
Many times I end of throwing some out because I have gotten tired of it.

This is genius!

Donna's rule #1

Freeze and save soups, chili's and stews.

Mexican Chicken & Barley Chili
This recipe is on the box of Quaker Barley

1 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cups water
3/4 cup Quick Quaker Barley
One 16-ounce can tomatoes, undrained, chopped
One 16-ounce can tomato sauce
One 14 1/2 ounce can chicken broth (organic)
One 4-ounce can chopped greed chilies, drained
1 tablespoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
3 cups, cooked chicken (organic)

Cook onion and garlic.
Add remaining ingredients except chicken.
Bring to a boil, lower heat, simmer 10 minutes.
Add chicken, simmer 10 more minutes or until chicken is warm and barley is tender.

Grated cheese and/or sour cream on top is lovely.
Green onions might be nice too.