Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Day 44

I have a confession.

I have made food and myself an idol.

We are on the pedestal where God should be.

I realized this fact this morning at 5:30 when I was praying.

You see, yesterday after writing my sad tale of self-pity and woe, I received words many words of encouragement and support.
Most of the letters contained promises of prayer and had scriptures attached.

The scriptures brought tears to my eyes. The word of God was getting my attention.

As I laid in bed and prayed this morning, the truth came to me quietly.

'You love food more than you love me. 'whispered God'.
You love yourself, more than you love me.'

How self-loathing and self love can live side by side, I don't have the answer.
But I know that I am shattered that I can't have my way and that's a sign that I am used to taking
pretty sweet care of myself.

I will be working on my attitude. Checking my motives and leaning on God to help me change.
Both in the area of making idols and in the area of living a healthy life.

Losing weight is not sinful. Putting all my heart and soul into it is.

With Christ all things are possible.

On my own....I'm pretty lost.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:13

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ~Matthew 6:25